In high school, I didn’t think kissing before marriage was a big deal.  Then I changed my mind in college after reading so many of those “Christian dating or no dating” books.  I thought it was cool how some people made their first kiss be at their wedding.  It seemed kind of sweet.  Of course, I didn’t think everyone should follow that rule, just that it was nice to be sure you weren’t kissing someone else’s future wife or husband. 

This year though, I really wonder.  If I started going together with some guy, would he be ok with me saving my first kiss for the wedding?  Shouldn’t it be more natural?  Like if you know you’re going to get married, wouldn’t it be ok?  It seems kind of unnatural to hold off until the wedding cuz what if you’re in some romantic place, and he just proposed, and you want to kiss, and the emotions just keep building up?  It seems more natural to just have a little innocent kiss.  And then….at least at the wedding, you’re not totally clueless about kissing.

Then during the wedding night, would it be ok to just hold off on the “you know what?”  Cuz both of you are most likely clueless if you’re both Christians, and since you supposedly have never kissed……………..it’s kinda weird to just go all out in one night.  At least, I would appreciate it if we took at least a week or two taking it slow.

Wow….this was such a weird post.  I just started thinking of this cuz I had a discussion about it with one of my friends, and I tried to rethink my “no pre-marital kissing” philosophy. 

Scary stuff.

P.S.  I’m sooooo excited!!!!  I bought the BBC series of Jane Eyre!!!  I love BBC adaptions because they stay the closest to the real book.  heehee 

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Smiley711 says:

    haha…i like you. you’re cute. i think it’s totalllly ok to hold off on the “you know what.” i don’t know who came up with that rule in the first place. =0) see you tomorrow!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Well, I guess it all depends on your reasons for kissing. If you both have boundaries on where to stop–and innocent little kiss will be the farthese both of you guys will go–then that’s fine. It’s not the matter of “dos or don’ts”–even though it may seem that the Christian dating books seem to emphasize that. The problem you ahve to think about is “How far can I go without compromising my values and start giving into temptation?”. That’s mainly why the books reccommend not kissing–it elminates the problem all together. However, if you are thinking about kissing, set up your standards and boundaries now (on how far you’ll go, and where you’re certain to stop), and when you meet your guy, make sure he sets up his own boundaries as well (and also make sure he knows how to practice restraint)–then when the time comes, you shouldn’t have a problem–unless someone crosses the line and someone compromises, then you’re in trouble.But yeah, I had to do a lesson on this for my club, so i read an article on this stuff.Hope that helps!-Connie

  3. Anonymous says:

    …because I have become so lame that I can no longer write coherent sentences (or speak in coherent and complete sentences for that matter)

  4. If you start dating a guy, you both need to talk about your physical boundaries. If you want to wait until your wedding day to kiss, he needs to respect that or wants to wait too. It’s just that an “innocent” kiss can lead to further than you should go if you aren’t careful. The people who save their first kiss for their wedding day have a lot of will power and determination. Even if you know you’re going to get married, it isn’t ok to do “you know what” until you’re actually married, especially if you’re both Christians. “Waiting until marriage” is just that.This is taken out of context, but “It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss.”

  5. itsasony says:

    Somebody is burnnnninnngg… haha. This is a fun break from work. Setting boundaries is good, but it’s not like Christian couples are going to say “Let’s plan to kiss before marriage.” It’s probably more important to build character rather than to make up rules. Burrnnninggg.

  6. bingfyre says:

    too many christian romance novels!

  7. Way too many roman novel influences….think in terms of yourself, not some novel/rule book/fantasy, it’s yours to give or not, let it reflect on your values and morality is going overboard…not everything goes according to plan anyway.

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