I don’t know everything about my friends. They don’t tell me things anymore. I feel estranged, alienated.
It’s like a wake up call. Am I not making myself available to them? Am I being too reclusive?
Maybe I’m not a very good friend.
Since last year, I’ve gotten used to doing things by myself. It comes to the point where I’d rather stay at home than go out and hang out with people. I’d rather cook at home and save money and read a book on a Friday or Saturday night. I make excuses for not hanging out, mainly saying that I need to study. I have my own set schedule, and I get annoyed when I have to change things to hang out with someone.
It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with people. It’s just….I guess I like having time to myself instead of always being busy having places to go, people to see.
But maybe I’ve been doing too much stuff by myself. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate things and make put in more effort to talk to my friends and hang out with them.
I thought they knew that they could come to me for anything. But maybe because I seem reclusive, they’re afraid of bothering me.
I hope that I don’t wake up one day and realize that I’ve lost all my friends.