Have you heard of the Princess of the Shadows?

She is silent as she retreats into the shadows as other princesses waltz into the moonlight. She wishes that she had their courage, their boldness, their strength. She watches as other princesses boldly flirt with the princes, and as one princess even confesses to a handsome knight of the secret undying love she has had for him for the past year. The Princess of the Shadows does not dare reveal her secrets nor unveil her soul to any man, not even the young prince who captured her heart three years ago. She wishes that she had the courage to tell him. He helped her step out of the shadows a few times, but she would get nervous talking to him and would always make herself seem like a fool in his presence. She could not make him see her for who she really was. So she stepped back into the shadows, and she watched him gallop away on his white steed and knew in her heart that when he returned, he would bring with him a beautiful bride from a faraway land.

The Princess of the Shadows watches as princes and knights carry away the other princesses. Not one of them has looked her way. She wonders if one day one of them will see her and come rescue her. She longs to be rescued, yet she also longs for independence, for the ability to rescue herself. She wishes that she could be like the strong women in the novels she reads who can stand up for themselves and live adventure after adventure. She wonders if she will be able to make herself take a step towards the moonlight, to grow a stronger spirit, to become assertive and tell people what she needs, what she wants, rather than doing their every bidding. She longs to give them her own opinion rather than agree with whatever they say. She longs for adventure, yet she knows in her heart that she must not wander too far from home for her duty lies in helping her family.

Have you heard of the Princess of the Shadows?

I have.

She is me.

Why oh why can’t I be more assertive?  Why do I have to be so scared of people?  Why can’t I just march up to people and tell them what I think?  Why can’t I just ask my professors for letters of recommendation rather than cower in fear at the very thought of coming face to face with them?  Why can’t I reveal my true self to some of my friends?  Why can’t I be loud and aggressive and make myself known? 

Why hasn’t any guy shown interest in me?  Am I not good enough?  Why can’t I be more like other girls and just be more daring?

WHY CAN’T I JUST KNOW THE FUTURE?  Why hasn’t God told me what to do with my life?

6 Comments Add yours

  1. hard2Bgr33n says:

    I think it’s b/c you’re too gorgeous and the princes are too in awe of the beautiful princess to approach her. =0)It’s ok. God will tell you what to do. I’m telling you. It would be awesome if we could get an email that says “Click Here, My Will For You. Love, God” =0)

  2. mechalance says:

    *splash cold water*sorry, greatgrand-dots, but SNAP OUT OF IT. quit whining and “mope-ping” about why guys has not seemingly shown interest in you. life is not going to be as unrealistic as those romance novels you read. true romance is something to prepare for and be patient about. it’s not about how early it begins, or how passionate it started off with. it’s about honesty, commitment, mutual sacrifice love, communication and time. whining about the lack of a bf is a possible sign that you are not ready for one yet. you’ll likely to get hurt and hurt others in your current state. you have one life, don’t waste it conforming to the supposed norms of this world.*dries water* *pat pat*

  3. For the record, the point of my little story here was not that guys aren’t showing interest in me but that I wish I knew what God has planned for my future and that I wish I was more assertive in life.
    No more yelling at me about reading romance novels please.  The one I posted up there is FANTASY.  =D

  4. ilovesteaks says:

    give yourself another 10 years before you even think about starting to worry about this stuff. =)I used to think Abraham and Sarah were stupid for their mistake in not waiting on God to give them a son.  Now I can understand.  Patience is definitely a virtue.

  5. While waiting for a sign from God, perhaps analyzing your present situations might help. I find it helpful to reverse the prospective and ask in what situations am I already assertive and built up confidence to set new opportunities to test myself. Also, what applies to you might apply to others as well, perhaps you are just not noticing the people who are noticing you? And really, that’s not really a fantasy but more romantic fantasy, and still applies to ‘reading too much romance novels’. Call me up if you want to go shopping sometimes~!

  6. chrissstinac says:

    oh Christina Fong. my lovely princess in the shadows. hahhahhahhahhaa. too bad I’m not a prince, because I SEE YOU. =DEvery good and perfect gift is from above…. =) so God will provide.You know, wallowing in self-pity or trying to be someone who you’re not is in fact…a sin.Embrace what God HAS blessed you with, recognize your own passions in life, your unique personality, all the things that God has created you with to make YOU you. Some girls are just made to be assertive, while others are not. Likewise, some guys are made to like assertive women, but there are also guys that are not. There’s no need to make yourself fill a sort of “mold.” Let GOD mold you into who HE wants you to be. You will blossom even more into a godly woman.I pray that God will grant you the boldness when the time comes (especially when asking for letters of recs! I was really scared too… so I just e-mailed them instead). Things will fall into their rightful place if you will trust in God and in His sovereign plan. I have faith in you Christina. =) But have even bigger faith in God.

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