Untold Tales by a Whimsical Wallflower

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I REALLY miss school.  I don’t think I miss the schoolwork or the midterms or the blood, sweat, and tears of finals and papers and labs…ok, so maybe I don’t miss school that much. 

But I do miss the feeling of knowing what I have to accomplish in order to go to the next step.  And I do miss the people…hanging out, cooking, book shopping, complaining about school. 

I feel like I’m in limbo stage right now.  I have a job, but it’s only part time, and I realized that high school students are making more money that I am.  So I want to find another job, but I don’t know if I’ll get one.  And I need to take like 2 more classes at city college that are required to go to grad school, pharm school, and dental school.  And I don’t know which school to go to–pharm, dental, grad?  And I don’t have enough letters of recommendation because the professor I was counting on just won’t answer my e-mails, and I’ve sent him like TEN THOUSAND!!!! 

ARGHHHHHH!!!!!  I am so frustrated.  I can’t sleep well because I’m so stressed out, and I wake up in the morning wanting to throw up because I have a nervous stomach.  I wish I didn’t have to think about all of this.  It’s so much more fun to just read books and forget about reality, or get lost in the fantasy world of the stories I like to write.  But then once I’m done with all of that…reality hits me smack in the face again.

I know that I have to trust in God, no ifs, ands, or buts.  BUT….to me there is a BUT.  And I can’t help BUT to worry.  I don’t want to worry…it’s the human in me.  I am trying though, and I know that I don’t have the strength to not worry on my own.