Dear friends who are concerned that I have seemingly disappeared this week,
This fast-paced, continuously connected world leaves me spinning, dizzy, and frazzled. Everyone is in perpetual motion, always on the go. Overstimulated and in want of instant gratification. Picture-perfect worlds cropped to the hairline, flawlessly manicured lives that are meant to stir up jealousy in people who all pretend to be perfect, but in truth, are far from it.
Every now and then, I just want to take a break from people and their cookie-cutter lives posted on social media for all the world to see. I’m not sure why, but although I’m okay with it most of the time, at sporadic moments, I just want to retreat back into my tortoise shell.
This week, I deactivated my Facebook account. I let the notifications on my smartphone pile up. I let emails from friends go unanswered. Most of them probably didn’t notice anyway, and those of you who did, well, you’re reading this letter to you right now.
It’s not that I’m angry at anyone per se. Nor am I suicidal or depressed. I just feel the need to be alone.
I feel the need to get away from social media, to live in MY moment, rather than in others’. To put down my phone and remember a time when I didn’t have one. A time when I used to people watch. I miss that.
On the other side of that, I haven’t been allowed to be alone so much at all because work this week has been nothing but endless meetings and social events and networking. I put on my game face during the day, and I come home exhausted, the energy of little old introverted me entirely sucked out.
The beginning of the week started with meetings. Today, more meetings. And there was yesterday.
It was a fourteen hour work day for me. I had to attend a huge work event that involved visiting numerous booths and making small talk with vendors. There’s nothing that makes me more excited than small talk (I say with dripping sarcasm). Some of them, I already knew from previous encounters. Some, were strangers, and I had to introduce myself and hand them my card. It was a complete, utter, beautiful mess of a delight. Because I think I did very well, and yet, it was DRAINING.
And I get to repeat the process tomorrow. At the Natural Foods Expo. It’s both heaven and hell. Heaven, because there are hundreds of booths set up at the Anaheim Convention Center, all related to food, natural products, supplements, even cosmetics, and that means TONS of samples. Even more samples than I got last night. And that’s a lot.
Hell, because again, I have to walk the hotel ballrooms with my boss and talk to person after person and market myself.
Heaven, because it’s right across from Disneyland, and I might go to Downtown Disney by myself afterwards and wait out the traffic.
Hell, because it’ll be Friday, and there will be traffic no matter what time I leave.
But yes, there is no need to be concerned for me, friends. However, the fact that you did notice my absence means worlds to me, so thank you.