My resolution this year is a word. BOLD.

To me, being bold means doing something despite your misgivings and fears and doubts. It means stepping off that diving board (something I was never able to do as a kid), taking that jump even when you know you’re bound to fail a few times. It means taking action to reach your dreams in the midst of criticism, rejection, and derision.

It means standing up and making your voice known in a crowd that may not be friendly.

I’m in the middle of editing a novel, which I hope to publish. As a means of personal accountability, I’ve decided to document this journey. Mistakes and failures, and maybe eventually, success.

It has been hard to balance a full time job with writing. I struggle with cramming a full week’s worth of work on weekday nights and weekends. My social life has become non-existent as a result of this. I find it funny that the busier I am, the more matches I get on Coffee Meets Bagel. Unfortunately, I think several guys have gotten the impression that I’m not interested because I forget to check my phone when I’m writing and don’t respond in a timely manner. But my passion for writing has always come first.

I’m currently researching literary agents and all the how-to’s on writing query letters. The list of agents is overwhelming, and I fluctuate between doubt and determination. My tendency to be a pessimist has me picturing the pile of rejection letters.

My coworker tells me that life is like a game. As we stand over the coffee machine in anticipation for wakefulness, she says, “Pretend this is a quest. Fear is the dragon. If you conquer it, you get more life points.”

It’s a metaphor that sticks with me. I picture myself as Mario, dodging fire bolts, jumping over stumbling blocks, and avoiding poisonous mushrooms.

By this time next month, I wonder where I’ll be on this quest. Will the dragon devour me, or will I be one step closer to finding that Holy Grail?