Friday reflections

Some thoughts I have to get out into the universe before it festers in my mind. This is extremely scattered, but whatevs.

The quality of relationships is far more important than the quantity. I’ve been thinking about some of the people I’ve cut out of my life. In my younger days, perhaps it was unfair because I never addressed my problem with them. It was a boundary problem. I just let those unsolved problems build up until I couldn’t take it anymore. But I’ve become better at establishing boundaries before those issues become a problem.

People I’ve door slammed from my life had one thing in common. They told me what I should or should not do. I absolutely hate when people take away my options. I understand that they have an opinion, and perhaps they do have my best interests at heart. But it’s another thing to shove that opinion down my throat. Like if someone believes wholeheartedly in a vegan diet and scorns anyone else who eats meat.

First of all, I get that a certain path worked for you, but that doesn’t mean it will work for everyone.

Second, I also understand the importance of telling a friend that they are harming themselves if you see them going down the wrong path. However, warning someone they are headed for a cliff is completely different than ordering them to stop hiking and exploring all together.

Third, if you give me unsolicited advice, I will get annoyed. I’m already an over-thinker. Believe me, I’ve thoroughly thought about all possible options to solve my own problems, and whatever advice you’re giving me, I’ve probably already considered. Sometimes all I need is a friend to listen to me ramble.

Fourth, and probably the most important point of all, maybe you are right. But I want the space to make my own decisions. To know that even if I make the wrong decision and fail miserably, the people I surround myself with aren’t going to judge me for it and say “I told you so.”

I need the space to fall and to fail, and I also need people who will help me back up and not laugh when they see the dirt on my face, not scorn me when they recognize the imperfections in my soul. And I hope I may be the kind of friend who will do the same for them.

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